Actions vs Words
by snapple79
Summary: What was Andy thinking when she said 'I love you? Why didn't Sam say it back?


A little post-3x07 fic, exploring the 'I love you' scene. What was Andy thinking when she said 'I love you'? Why didn't Sam say it back? Hope you enjoy it, and please leave a review! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.

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**Actions vs. Words**

Andy sat in Sam's truck waiting, and her mind was racing. She'd wanted to say those three words for a while, since the day she felt like she was on death's door with the flu or food poisoning or whatever it was, and he was there. He rubbed her back to soothe her, made her chicken soup, and held her every time she laid down after another trip to the bathroom to throw up. He was just there for her, always. It was like he once told her; he was there when it mattered.

And now it had her wanting to tell him with all her heart that she loved him, she really loved him. But it never seemed like the right moment. At dinner, driving home, watching TV, when they were lying in bed. It just always seemed wrong and she wanted it to be perfect. She didn't want to blurt it out by accident while they were on some call. She didn't want to tell him when they were in a life or death situation. But when was the right time? She just didn't know.

Sam walked out of the station wondering what the hell the psychic had said to Oliver. He wouldn't say a word to Sam, but stomped around the locker room muttering something about Zoe and how the psychic was a fake and couldn't know anything. When Sam looked up and saw Andy sitting in his truck, in the driver's seat nonetheless, he couldn't help but grin. This girl, she was everything to him and could brighten his mood with just a look.

She rolled down the window when she saw Sam approaching. "Hey, you comin'?" she asked with faux impatience.

He gave her a surprised, but happy, look when she pulled the keys out of the ignition and waved them in front of her. "I have your extra set of keys. Sorry, I've been meaning to give them back." She hadn't really wanted to give the keys back. It was just, she liked having them, so she continued to 'forget' to return them.

"No, I – you might as well hang on to them," he replied.

Andy smiled, knowing Sam relinquishing some control and giving her his spare keys was a huge deal for him. She practically had to pry the spare keys out of his hand the night he was stuck at the station late and he told her to take his truck home because it was raining buckets and he didn't want her to walk.

Opening the door, Sam threw his bag in the backseat and climbed in. "I don't know what that guy said to Oliver in there, but he, uh, he's storming around like somebody kicked his dog. I mean, I know he doesn't have a dog, but…"

She cared about Oliver, but right now he was the last thing on her mind. Andy looked over at Sam and smiled. The time was now. She was just going to do it. "I love you."

"What?" Shock flushed over his face.

Sam felt his heart beating faster as his intake of breath came quicker, and he was sure a mix of shock, confusion and disbelief was showing on his face. This was the last thing he expected when he got into the truck.

"I do, I love you. There I said it." Happy with herself for getting it out there, for telling him what she was feeling, she showed off a big toothy grin. "It's out there. Now I can stop worrying about it coming out of my mouth at a really weird time."

"You mean like now?" His voice was hoarse, probably because his mouth was suddenly a desert. He forced out a laugh as he thought about taking a long drink of whiskey to wet his mouth.

Andy suddenly realized he looked like a deer in headlights and turned to face him. "Look, you don't have to say it back. Okay, I don't care that you've never said it before and I don't care if you never say it. This is how I feel and, so there, I'm saying it." She blew out a breath, feeling relieved she finally told him. It was like a weight had been lifted off her.

In her excitement, she missed the perplexed look on Sam's face as he wondered how she knew he'd never really said 'I love you' before. He wondered if he'd mentioned it in passing during one of their many conversations in their cruiser. He didn't think so, but how could she know?

Andy's voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Want me to say it again?"

Struggling to find enough air to force through his lungs so he could speak, he was only able to mutter his next words. "Start the truck."

Giggling in response to his reaction, she couldn't stop smiling. "Cause I will you know. I mean, now that I've popped the old cork, let the Jeannie out of the bottle, I'm gonna say it all the time." Now she just couldn't help but tease him.

Sam pressed his lips together and stuck his tongue in his cheek, trying to steady himself and hope she'd move onto another topic of conversation. "McNally, just drive." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and stared at her in amazement as she finally pulled out of the station's parking lot. Any fear he had about her being engaged to another man less than a year ago, about her picking up and leaving for three months was being washed away with the giddiness she exuded expressing those three words and the realization that she loved him. He only wished he could return the sentiment.

She began chatting away about how Jerry proposed to Traci – which of course he knew was going to happen, but had been sworn to secrecy by his friend – and he tried to listen and nod, but his mind was elsewhere. He thought back to the conversation between Andy and Vestibule bartender Tori that he overhead from the surveillance van last year.

"_Ya know, Russell's never even said he loves me," Tori said sadly about her drug-smuggling boyfriend._

"_I'm sure he does," Andy reassured her._

"_Why can't guys like that just come out and say the way they feel?" Tori wondered._

"_I wish I knew," Andy said._

"_So, your guy's like that?"_

"_Uh, Luke, no, he's great." _

"_He tells you he loves you?" Tori asked._

"_Yeah, actually he does." The smile in Andy's voice was evident to everyone listening in on the conversation._

Sam had known from that moment that she needed that reassurance, needed to know she was loved. His problem was he was better with his actions than words.

It was hard for him to say those three words. Growing up, going from foster home to foster home after his mother died, he'd rarely heard them, so the phrase was never part of his vocabulary. He and Sarah had their own way of telling each other 'I love you,' never really saying the words, but knowing how they felt. It was this special sibling connection they had. He'd said it once in college to this girl he was seeing, but hadn't really meant it. What could he do, the girl was about to leave and he was drunk and horny that night. He had to say it to get her stay. Not the best reason to say it, but what can he say, he was young and foolish, and didn't truly even understand the significant of what those words meant.

But now, it was different. He felt it with all this heart, but didn't know how to say it. The closest he'd gotten was saying "That's what I love about you McNally." Not exactly a confession of love.

Why were three words so important? He showed her each and every day how much he loved her. Hell, he did the background check on her mother _because_ he loved her. He was overprotective _because_ he loved her. But he knew showing her wouldn't be enough. He'd have to tell her he loved her.

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"So, can I ask you something?" Andy asked hours later as Sam joined her in bed. She propped her head on her hand as she looked over at him.

"Go," he said, worried about what she was going to say. He knew she was going to ask why he didn't say

'I love you' back. It had been hours since she'd told him, and she probably figured enough time had passed and now was calling him on it. He had no idea what he was going to say.

"I was, um, wondering..." She was embarrassed to ask this and didn't really know how. And the perplexed look on his face was not helping her from fumbling over her words.

Sam sighed and decided he'd beat her to the punch. "Look, Andy, I'm sorry I didn't say it back. It's just, I, well, it's not something that comes easy for me. The words just don't flow. I care about you, you know that. I just, I don't know when I'll be able to say it." He frowned when he saw a smile appear on Andy's face and she looked amused.

"That's not where I was going," she said, giddy amusement flowing through her.

A strained chuckle was forced out of Sam's mouth. He really just screwed that up. "Oh, uh, yeah, okay."

"It's okay though. I don't need to hear it right now. Plus, it's fun just to see _you_ blush for once," she said, smirking.

He looked up at the ceiling, hoping to hide the embarrassment written all over his face.

"I told you, it doesn't matter if you can't say it. I don't need to hear it. But I had to tell you how I feel." Maybe she wasn't being entirely truthful. She didn't want to force him to say it, but she had hoped he'd want to, that he'd feel the same way.

Sam turned his head to look at her and sighed. "It's just, I don't want that to define how I feel about you. I want my actions to show you how much I care about you. Hey, how'd you know I'd never said it before?"

Andy bit her bottom lip. "Um, the psychic."

"What?"

"He may have been playing us, but I think he really is a psychic." She scrunched her nose up, not really believing in psychics, but not able to deny what he knew. And yeah, his two years comment. She may have denied it, but if she were honest with herself they'd been connected since the day she tackled him.

"Hmm. So, whatever had Oliver all riled up, it's probably true, huh?" She nodded her head, while Sam pondered what the psychic knew. Snapping back to the moment, he wondered what Andy was going to ask him earlier if it wasn't about saying 'I love you.' "What were you going to ask me?"

"Huh?" She got so absorbed in the psychic talk she forgot what question started the whole conversation.

"You were nervously about to ask me something before I interrupted."

"Oh, well, I was going to ask, uh, if we could try that new thing again. You know, just to practice."

"Thought it didn't work for you, McNally." He smirked at her, remembering their conversation that morning.

"_Andy, trust me. Let me do this."_

"_It's just, well…_that_ just normally doesn't affect me, you know."_

"_You won't know unless you try."_

_Andy blew out a short breath. "Okay, but don't, you know, take it personally."_

_With that Sam disappeared under the sheets. When he resurfaced, Andy couldn't form a thought, but somehow got 'holy moly' out of her mouth. Yeah, that about summed up Sam's magic._

Sam stared at her, a smug smile on his face. Not only had he been right, but she insisted on doing it over and over again. "Okay…do you want me to beg, Sam?"

He rolled over so he was on top of her and held her face in one of his hands as he lowered his mouth until it was just barely touching hers. "Oh, you'll be begging." He silenced her giggle when he crushed his mouth to hers.

When he pulled back slightly, Andy furrowed her eyebrows, giving him a confused look, and he responded by nuzzling her nose with his. She sensed something was wrong and brought her hands up to rest against his chest. "Everything okay?"

He wasn't sure if it was the fact she wasn't pressuring him or if something inside him just clicked, but the words were unexpectedly right there on the tip of his tongue. Suddenly, it wasn't so scary to say the words. Andy made it easy. She made him _want_ to say it for the first time in a very long time.

"Sam?"

"Yeah, I just...Look, Andy, those words, they don't mean much to me. My actions, treating you how you deserve to be treated, that's more important to me." He swallowed thickly and Andy watched him, remaining silent. "But I do. I love you too."

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The End


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